In order to understand more about what I went through and what I am still struggling with a lot if not most is connected to my faith and belief so I will write a bit about my belief – me and faith.
I believe in God and one and only God who is the creator and full-time controller of the entire universe, and since he created and is controlling the world he has given us commands to follow which is in order to reach the purpose of his creation so we really are in a way nothing really just a pawn in the big game and he uses us to get to his purpose, but on the other hand we are very big since he chose to create us to fulfill that purpose, and I always strive to do the most and best I can to fulfill my obligations.
I did grow up religious and this is the belief that my community and religion believes in. but in a way that actually pushed me away from it, for it wasn’t a very exciting upbringing to say the least and therefore it is only natural that I should resent anything I was taught but as much as I sometimes would like and feel that I might give my head a break by not believing, I still can’t get away from it and i feel through and through that it’s the truth and it makes the most sense to me intellectually and practically.
now I know a lot of people reading this will be Dumbfoundead or whatever other word can describe how they will receive what I just wrote but nonetheless from what I’ve learned in this world and from what makes sense to me I find this to be the only truth possible and I’m not trying to convince anyone I’m only writing it as I stated before for you to really understand my story and struggles you need to understand my belief first.
Now since this isn’t an essay about my belief but rather my life story we shall leave it at this for now and as my writing will go on you shall understeand more what i mean & how it impacts my life.